Haunted House rankings by Professional Haunters!
Overall Event Fear Tier: A Tier (Certified “Top Haunted Event”)
A Breakdown of the Houses (we went through) at this event
Five Nights at Freddy’s: Overall Ranking – 9/10
FNAF was a Badass House – We finally got to become the new security guards in real life! Everything about this setup was pretty awesome, whether it was the insane scaling of the animatronics you came face to face with (very tall), the detailing of those animatronics (the same puppets/costumes as you see in the movie), or the set they built to take you through the pizzeria (walking from the party room, to the kitchen, to the back halls, and to the security office). Overall, I gave it a 9/10 ranking due to it’s length, and personal “Wish” for a little more of the animatronics. While (as I’m eluding to) I felt like it could’ve been a touch longer (you go through basically one trip through each room you know from the games/movie), I wish there was a little more of the Animatronics coming/running at you – like Bonnie didn’t even get a jump scare at all.
I will say, it was creepy as hell having those full sized animatronics popping out/showing up in dark corners when they did (I was also jump scared by a bag of ball pit balls I accidentally ran into with my face), which is why I gave it an almost perfect score, because it was one touch away from the perfect house.
Terrifier: Overall Ranking – 9.5/10
This one was wacky. while you do get to experience some classic moments from the Terrifier Series, This house was a whole new take on the characters antics – making a “what if Art had his own funhouse/Amusement park” typa situation. The Funhouse was complete with a mirror maze full of Arts & Little Pale Girls, A tunnel of Blood, Hacksaw experience, clown cafe, and even a Terrifier Christmas tunnel with human insides hanging from the ceiling!
Overall, I gave this a 9.5 rating – it was .5 off from being the perfect house, because of the blood effects (the reason there’s all those “You may get wet” warnings around). I enjoyed that added effect and experience, and that’s something above every other house at the event, and a lot of (most of) the Haunts in the world – the problem was, if you’re already advertising that you’ll get wet, I think you should go slightly more all out. At first, it sounded like it was a decision at the end rather you wanted to go down the “Wet” or “Dry” paths (which was an option), but throughout the house there’s different parts & props that get you wet (as Donovan quickly found out).
I get at he end having two paths, because one was like going through a shower with clothes on, and of course, the other was dry, but if you’re going to have different things throughout the house shooting and squirting “Blood” at people,
1.) I think it should be more constant/consistent – Donovan was getting hit with everything (including feces), and was a wet pancake before we even got to the tunnel of blood at the end.
2.) do more! I understand you just did a lil here and there, then lots of (potentially) soaking “blood” at the end (where guests could chose if they wanted to get wet or not), but I think if that gory theme is going to be the draw of the house, and the five “You may get wet” signs constitute as a verbal contract, soak all the guests the whole time! it was happening at random (again, I wasn’t too bad till the end, Donovan was wet before the wet or dry decision), so why not just keep the theme the whole time?
SIDE NOTE: I think this takes the cake for having the biggest Mother Fu*%ers in the world as actors. Every Art the Clown was greater than 6ft tall
Grave of Flesh: Overall Ranking – 8/10
I enjoyed this one as an original HHN house. I though the premise was cool, and the artistry inside the house was well done. The entire thing was like you were walking six feet underground (very dark) and there were different undead people popping out of grave plot like holes, along with the flesheaters (pictured on the sign) going after….well, anything that still had flesh on it.
Overall, I gave it an 8, because it was kinda just like “you’re underground, there’s dirt and it’s dark and everything that’s dead has come back to life” – like, we’ve heard this one before, right? again, It did have amazing costumes, scenery, and effects, so even if it has been done before, this was the best version of itself. The flesheaters were an awesome new addition as well,- almost like the undead were kinda on your team this time, because the flesheaters wanted what was left of them as well. very creepy and original character design. this may be upped in the rankings a little, if I understood what I felt like I was missing with the storyline – there was a creature at the end, I think was like summoning the flesheaters, or their leader….I don’t know – and because it’s a Universal original and they only post short blurbs on the website explaining the premise and theme, we may never know. definitely the best of the HHN Originals this year though.
The Horrors of the Wyatt Sicks: Overall Ranking – 4.5/10
I have no Idea what this was. I did write some of it up to me not being a big wrestling guy, but like what the hell? The premise of the WWE’s Wyatt Sicks as a whole, is to continue the legacy of the late Bray Wyatt by having the “real-life” versions of his Firefly Funhouse characters (another WWE thing)—Uncle Howdy, Ramblin Rabbit, Mercy the Buzzard, Huskus the Pig Boy, and Abby the Witch—acting as a tormented force within the WWE, acting against those they deem “betrayers” or “traitors” in order to process grief and pain.
So, I guess that’s the premise of the premise of the house as well – but the whole thing was just like walking backstage at an arena (where presumably) WWE was taking place, and all the event staff was dead(?), aside from one room being the firefly funhouse set. I must say, It had some very very very good costuming, and one exceptionally good scare in that funhouse scene, and I guess as good a premise and set up as you can get when the theme is largely “Involving WWE Wrestling”, but this was just a very “Why?” typa haunt for this event. I feel like the line not topping ten minutes on the Saturday evening we were there went on to prove that point as well.
El Artista: A Spanish Haunting : Overall Ranking – 8/10
Another well done Haunt (also, Another Original Universal Concept if you didn’t know). This one covered a bunch of Spanish Monsters, so it was cool to experience (basically) horror characters from other cultures. This may have been one of the best sets in the park, taking place in an old limestone mansion, with pieces such as a working waterfall style fountain in the courtyard, and demons flying above your head from building to building while you were “outside”.
The ranking dropped two points down to an 8, simply because there wasn’t a whole lot (other than the flying demons and the artistry of the physical set builds) that stood out inside. I don’t remember any wonderful scares, and It was largely focused on an artist (as the name entails), and I couldn’t really put together how the monsters came in to play with the theme till I read more after. Like, it was literally him painting, then a bunch of creatures throughout this house, then that same artists trying to stab you with a paintbrush (? – Donovan thought it was a spoon) at the end. Was that his creations coming to life? was he living in a haunted mansion, making him go crazy and paint nightmarish things??
Jason Un1v3rse: Overall Ranking – 9/10
The Classic. (almost) All the Jason’s in one place. this House was following the classic Camp Crystal Lake lore, and the attempt to escape Jason as he hunted you down throughout the woods and into the cabins. The end was awesome, with an almost pitch black hallway, only to be illuminated as a different version of Jason (progressing as the movies did) pops out at you every few feet through the wooded overlay of this tight hallway.
It did hold steady at a 9, because it’s the ultimate classic, back for an anniversary year. Every horror fan(and probably non horror fan as well) has their story about thinking of, or referencing Jason Voorhees while alone in a dark and quiet place outside at night, and now you get to live it! but, It was just walking through a lot of dark halls decorated with wood, and then some with fake moss and other greenery, as (literally) the same character popped out at you.
Dolls: Let’s Play Dead : Overall Ranking – 6.5/10
Another Original Universal Concept. This wasn’t bad at all, and had a couple of good scares, with some of the plastic looking mannequins dressed as dolls sitting in plain sight….not being mannequins….
The house didn’t have a whole lot to offer, though. There was the cool concept of this rat loose in the dollhouse – and that played well because everything was made so it felt like you shrunk down to the size of a doll as you walked into the dollhouse, so that became one of the giant puppet animatronics later in the maze. There was also this smell I can’t even begin to describe, unless you’re also a haunt actor and know what spoiled fog solution smells like (when it’s heated up and cooled down too much) – Donovan said maybe it was the rubber from the tent this house was in, and another buddy of ours said it was a purposeful smell pumped in – regardless, forget The Terrifier house, THIS was the worst smelling, and I don’t even remember that being advertised.
Chewing on the Wire Media 
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