So, as most of you know, one of the many things I’ve done in the haunt industry over the years is build, remodel, and fix animatronics that are constantly used inside and outside of haunted houses almost every night. With that being said, regardless of if they’re supposed to be “discount,” “basic,” “generic store bought,” or whatever else you’d like to call them, I figured I’d give you a breakdown of which (I believe) are actually worth your money, from the opinion of someone who makes these professionally for a living….and y’all’ve (southern for “you all have) been emailing me saying I should make a video on this, but I’m neither standing in a Spirit Halloween talking to the camera to break all these down, nor buying all of these.
NOTE FROM THE PUBLISHER: What you’re about to read is based on the purchaser TAKING CARE of the animatronics, which includes storing them in their own boxes, wrapping pieces in protective storage material when taking apart, unplugging/cutting power when not in use, etc. etc. – if you just put these outside or something and let them get destroyed, none of them will last.
With that being said, Let’s start from the front!
- Jack the Reaper -Price: $329.99 – Diarrhea Ranking: A+
I’ve got no problems with this one. A step up from what I think a store-bought animatronic should be, Since it has a sensor built into the finger there so it follows you as you move while it’s doing it’s talking etc. – that’s not necessarily an easy fix if it goes like I think a “usual” store-bought prop should be, but that’s a pretty badass upgrade/step up for something that’s just over $300. It’s also cool because Jack is the Spirit Halloween logo/Mascot, so you can’t get this jawn anywhere else.
2. Crypt Countess – Price: $299.99 – Diarrhea Ranking: A++
This is the sh!t right here (in a good way) – it seems to be a simple rotating motor, and it gives her the feel of a professional Pneumatic (air powered) animatronic, costing somewhere in the $3,000 – $6,000+ range (See: https://www.frightprops.com/everything-else/popular-brands/poison-props/pumpkin-king-lunger.html ). I was contemplating getting this for that reason alone.
3. Bullseye – Price: $249.99 – Diarrhea Ranking: B
This one isn’t bad, but his head turns a full 360-degree rotation – so, basically, that’s another piece that’s not that easy to replace, and again, this is a slow-moving retail-level prop, so the worst that could probably happen is a bunch of wear and tear on the connecting wires (I’d have to take this one apart to see, to be honest) if not constantly unplugged/constantly used, but I would like to point out that wires consistently twisting around each other/the center, and inadvertently pulling and stretching while power was running through them, is what caused the original version of those disco ball party lights from the early 2000s to catch on fire… and later be taken off the shelves. Oddly enough, the link I found of a newer model of said party light (See: https://www.spencersonline.com/product/disco-ball-light/160188.uts?Extid=sf_froogle&utm_medium=paidsearch&utm_campaign=freelisting&utm_inex=e) to at least show you what they look like, is also being sold by Spencer’s (the parent company of Spirit Halloween), so maybe they figured it out.
4. Valak – Price: $299.99 – Diarrhea Ranking: D-
this is a dumbass design (see below for the side angle), aside from turning from ghost white in the promo material, to Jaundice yellow in person, this things like 4 feet wide, and honestly another I’d have to take apart to find out what the hell it really is. BUT, it seems as though it’s just a push & pull device that does just that – pushes her forward, and has her hands open up, and she screams. A simple jumpscare. But, I warn that there are many a animatronics that have a better fright factor (like, you have no idea what the sitting scarecrow is, because you just see a hat till it’s too late) that don’t involve that tall ass pulley box in the back.
5. Mutant Sewer Rat – Price: $229.99 – Diarrhea Ranking: A++++
Sorry Crypt Countess, This dude is probably my favorite from this year, and for purposes of the article, the most functional. All he does is move back and fourth while his mouth moves, and he makes the a shrill little pissed off mouse noise, complete with a long ass slimy tail. This is what I’m looking for in a simple animatronic that’ll last!
6. Sinister Straw Man – Price: $329.99 – Diarrhea Ranking: Hot Stonky leaky wet Diarrhea (F-)
The whole point of these things (they’ve reskinned this multiple times over the years) is that it lurches straight up, revealing that it’s 9ft tall, not the 3ft (ish) it starts off as. the problem is, that whole set of three pieces (I believe) to make it rise, is all plastic. therefore,
A. If a pin/screw is slightly not in place, it’ll fail and come apart. since it’s plastic (the part that launches the metal mechanism that physically pushes it up), it’ll almost shatter if that happens.
B. It throws itself up so fast, it can’t support it’s own weight with the head and hands and clothes etc. all on the front piece, AND you have plastic trying to launch a full metal frame, so if you don’t have something holding it down on the back, it’ll fall
C. Because of A & B combined (or just A or B happening), since it’s plastic, it usually just breaks after a few goes (CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK lol)
Literally almost every video on YouTube of these things is them breaking.
Chewing on the Wire Media 
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